Presently, I am in the basement of Dordt's campus center. It has been about two years since I have sat here and, like expected, it is odd. I do not know these faces, I do not know this campus, I do not know this college. Yes, I have only been away for a semester, but somehow so much has changed. Or, have I changed? I did not realize how much I had detached myself from Dordt until I came back. This is no longer my college--which is okay. I think I banked out of here last year. I was definitely ready to leave and now that I am back I realize that leaving was the best thing that I could have done.

It has been great catching up with old friends. It has been, as expected, a bit odd. Leaving for a semester and then trying to jump in where you left off is always difficult; but, of course you still have those few friends you can just jump back in and even though so many things have changed, your friendship is still strong. I truly appreciate that. Catching up with Becca has also been long overdue. The craziness of both of our semesters did not lend to much conversation over the past couple of months. She has been busy studying for exams, but just seeing her has been rejuvenating. Thinking of having all three of the Rowenhorst girls back together again is thrilling. There will be much laughter, cuddling, teasing, and conversation.

I still have one paper left. Yes, I have procrastinated like non other. This semester I really put school on the back burner, which is something I had never done. I was always the student who finished her papers weeks in advance...no longer. It will get done, sometime. I think the student mindset at Dordt will help. At least, I hope so. However, here I am, procrastinating once again. I set off this morning hoping to finish up paperwork for my loans, sign "ending Dordt" paperwork, and start/finish my paper. The first two have been completed; the latter has not been touched. Here I am, writing on my blog instead.

When I return home, I will start up my job for a couple weeks and then I will set off to Thailand for a couple months. My trip is slowly coming together. There have been quite a bit of set backs, but I am trucking through and am hoping that it will all work out.

Now, time to get moving on that paper...

Last post while in Chicago. The past couple of weeks have been a blur of papers, readings, projects, etc., and I have loved every minute. Friday will be my last day at my internship and I am dreading it. I do not feel prepared to leave the place that has felt like home for the past four months. Trying to find words that express how I feel about my internship proves to be extremely difficult. Explaining the amount of love, passion, desire, joy, excitement, and feelings of worth I get while working there is almost impossible. I will miss this family, I will miss this population, and I will miss Chicago. I do not believe I have completely accepted the fact that I am leaving. I have four days left in this city, three days at my internship, and one day of class. It feels as if I just arrived. I was just walking around the city with Joseph--scared out of my mind. Looking back on my internship, I wonder where the time went. I accomplished and learned numerous things. I am not ready for home, but it is only for a short time. I will then fly off to Thailand for two months and then move back here, Chicago. Chicago will hold either work or school...or both.

I will be a college student for approximately three more days. I have one class, one paper, and three days of work left. Done. We all have worked for the past 16 years to achieve this....graduation. Then what? Job? Travel? More school? Bum around? It is now the time to take initiative. I am ready to move forward; I am ready to finish school. I would have considered school to be one of my favorite things--yes, I am a nerd--but after 16 years, I am ready to call it quits for a bit. I am applying to grad school and believe am ready to take on that challenge; however, I am also ready for the working world.

Excitement fills me when I think about the future, but hesitation comes when I think about what I am leaving behind. This semester was exactly what I needed--a lot of challenges in many ways. Will I be ready to leave it? No. Will I be ready to move on? We will see.

Next week I will visit Dordt and see friends that I have missed for the past couple of months, and I am eager to have conversation.

Finishing this entry is like finishing this semester--I have no words. So, I will leave it there.